On every flight, there is a safety manual and demonstration that says something to the effect of “apply your own mask before helping others.” I never understood this. I was raised that being selfless and helpful is the key to life…even if the person teaching me these things was anything but selfless and helpful. It is the greatest lesson I had to unlearn. I had to figure out in my 20s and into my 30s how to listen to myself. 

I still struggle with helping others at the expense of myself. It’s like a switch that I can’t help but turn on. It’s detrimental at times, as I often find myself burnt out and struggling to tread water. I had to learn to say no, and for a chronic people pleaser growing up, this was incredibly difficult. 

The way it works for me is to think of myself as a pot of tea. If it’s full, it’s easy to pour for everyone. But the more and more I need to tip forward, the more likely it is that I’m empty. I’ve just learned to identify my tipping point and stick to my boundary. It isn’t easy, and like everything else with my mental health, it’s another full time job, but it’s working. And that’s all I can offer. Find that thing that works for you. It won’t always work right the first time, and it won’t work every time, but it’s working. 

I won’t sit here and say that life is work, because it isn’t. Life is not a series of tasks to complete in order to get to some finish line. The meaning of life isn’t some grand mystery or question. Life is life, and its meaning is to exist. You’re here in spite of the odds. The sheer magnitude of your existence is insanity, it defies logic. So why do you act mundane? Why do you live your life in service of others at your own expense? I have worked customer service for basically my entire adult life, and I can tell you that it can be incredibly rewarding. I like helping people. I believe that true service for others is a rare gift, and one that benefits both the giver and receiver. But we often allow this need to please to control us. 

Show up for yourself. Allow yourself to breathe and to rest and to experience life. Especially now. In these chaotic times, we  forget ourselves. Idles has an album titled “Joy as an Act of Resistance” and it is the perfect metaphor for now. We forget ourselves, and we forget the meaning of life. Experience, breathe, eat good food, dance, love, joy, balance. We are not here to bow to wannabe dictators and create shareholder value. We are here to love and be loved. We are here to experience and be experienced. Smell that flower, enjoy that coffee, listen to that album. 

“In spite of it all

Life is beautiful.” -idles

Written by Matt from MD